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Monday, April 13, 2015

My Angel Baby

To Hope - My Dear Sweet Angel Baby, Born to Heaven on April 10, 2015

From the moment you came into my life I loved you, even though it was four weeks before I knew you were even there. You touched my life for the briefest of moments, and yet I love you as if you had been here for an eternity. My love for you will never end!
My heart broke when you went to be with Jesus. I didn't think that we had had enough time together. I never got to meet you, to touch you, to hold you. But, I did get to love you, from the moment you were conceived.
As much as I wanted to hold you in my arms here on earth Jesus had a different plan for your life. He knew that you were too perfect to spend your time here and instead took you to Heaven to live with Him. So now you sit beside Him, in a land of perfect peace.  
There are people up there who love you too, my grandma and daddy’s grandpa. I know they like to play with you, hold you, love you. So keep them company for me, until I can be with you.
Right now I might be crying, because I miss you so. But Mommy really loves you, that I hope you know. We’ll see each other soon and I’ll hold you in my arms, and you’ll know how much I've loved you, right from the very start.
So stay near to Jesus my dear, run and laugh and play. Spend time with the other Angel babies, and when I meet you up there I’ll hold you and we’ll play. Your Daddy and I love you, and can’t wait to meet you soon. But first we need to finish what God had for us to do.
I love you my little sweetheart, and I’m glad that you are mine, even if I only knew you for a tiny space in time.
I will love you always, Mommy



Saturday, June 22, 2013

On Behalf of a Grateful Nation...

"On behalf of the President of the United States,
The United States Navy,
and on behalf of a grateful nation
we would like to present you with this flag
in honor of your loved one's service.
Thank you for your sacrifice!"

These words, or something similar, are said as a tightly folded flag is laid in the hands of a grieving family.

I had the honor of attending a funeral for a friend of mine this last week.  He had faithfully served in the U.S. Navy, worked as a civilian for the Air Force, and was a loving Husband, Father and dear friend to many.

As I attended his funeral, with full military honors, I listened to Taps, watched them fold the flag, and heard them say something similar to the above as they passed the ceremoniously folded flag to the family.  We celebrated and honored the life of a man who was a magnificent example of what a godly man should be.

I couldn't help but pray that it is another 100 years before I have to hear those words for myself!  I pray the the rapture happens before that time comes!  But I know that just as my dear friend was surrounded by friends and family that the same will be true for me.

This leads me to my new determination in life. If there is ever a time I can be there for someone during a time like this I will take it.  It is not easy attending things such as this but I imagine that it is almost impossible for someone if they have no one to lean on for support.  I pray that I am able to be a friend and support to anyone I know that may need it during a time such as this.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Beautiful Weather

We have been enjoying some very beautiful weather the last week.  After some major storms that rolled through last month a bit of sunshine is very welcoming.

Yesterday I had the privilege of attending an engagement party for a friend of mine.  It was a lot of fun and it was great to see her and her fiance so happy together.

Since I was right down the road from a movie theater I decided to go see a movie before heading home.

It was a good movie and was nice to have an excuse to be out of the house for a while.

As I was walking along the canal downtown towards my car I realized that it was perfect weather for a nice walk with my hubby.  It got me to missing him and all the times we have walked along that canal together.  I spent the rest of the night missing him.

Today as I was thinking about it I realized how many days of beautiful weather I have to be thankful for so far.  There are so many memories I have of us going to a theme park, the Zoo or just a walk in the park on a nice sunny day.  I cherish all those memories and look forward to adding many more to the ones I already have.

Even though I miss my husband I have promised myself to take every sunny day and fill it with a past memory until I can add a new one to the list!

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Anticipation

Do you remember as a little kid, the days/hours leading up to a big event like Christmas, Vacation, or family visiting?

I remember counting down days on the calendar as a kid.  I was always so excited for Christmas, Vacations,  visiting family, Camp and just about anything else.

Usually I would have my bags packed weeks, if not a month, in advance so I wouldn't forget anything.  Then, the night before, I would not sleep hardly at all.  My excitement would keep me up.

Well.... Nothing has changed.  Especially when it comes to visiting my husband.

I the last 5 months we have spent a total of 7 days together (not even all in a row).  I know being in the military means we won't get to see each other near as much, but that doesn't change how excited I am when I do get even just a couple of days to spend with him.

I would start thinking about what I'm taking weeks in advance, and sometimes even start packing that early.  I have the days numbered on my calendar so that I know exactly how many days I have left until I leave.

A couple days before, I start counting down hours as soon as I realize I am down to 48 or less. Then, I can't stop talking about how I can't wait to see him in X number of hours.

Then, the night before, yeah.... might as well not even go to bed because I KNOW I'm not going to be able to sleep.

On the drive down, I might as well be pumped full of caffeine the whole way because even if I'm driving I'm practically bouncing in my seat with excitement (without any caffeine).

Once I get close to where he's at.... I pace until I can see him because I'm that excited.

Once it's time to meet him, I anxiously scan the faces of every man in uniform that walks by..... hoping the next Airman to walk past me is my husband.

Then it happens.... I see him walking towards me and my heart stops!  The time is finally here!!  At that point It doesn't matter if it's been five minutes, five months or five years since I've seen him.  All I want is to be in his arms again.

The time always goes by too fast but the memories that we make (whether it is going to the zoo, a movie or just walking around somewhere) is what keeps me going until the next time I start counting down days.


Tuesday, May 14, 2013

My Airman


My Airman
 (By: Martha Pruett)


No words can describe
How proud I am of you
Putting everything you have
Into everything you do

Rising early in the morning
Staying up late at night
Spending every free moment
Becoming a unified flight

Classes, marching, saluting too
Rank recognition and learning to shoot
Chain of command, cleaning your gun
Learning to sing in the middle of a run

Seven short weeks left
And then I will see
An Airman in uniform
Smiling down at me

I’ll watch you run in front of me
An Airman’s coin you will receive
Parade, salute and an oath you will say
An Airman you’ll be at the end of the day

No words can describe
How proud I am of you
I hope you realize
How much I LOVE YOU!!!



This is a poem I wrote for Zac about a week or so after he left for Basic.  I sent it to him in a letter, hoping it would be an encouragement to him. 

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Communication

(I have re-written this due to the fact that I wasn't 100% happy with the original version.  It ended not being what I was looking for, therefore the new version.)

Communication is the key to every relationship.  For some it is easier to keep up the communication than it is for others.  For those of us who are living a life in the military, either serving or as a spouse, there are different challenges that we face.

We go for days, month, sometimes years without seeing our spouses.  Zac and I went almost 9 weeks while he was at basic where we didn't see each other.  The only form of communication that we had were the letters and brief phone calls on occasion.

I remember, before he left, I made a promise to write him at least once a day while he was at basic.  From the day before he left until about a week before I went to see him(I wanted to make sure he would get the letters so I stopped writing the week before I went to see him) I wrote him everyday, sometimes twice a day.  I would tell him about my day, how work went, how our dog Misty was doing, funny things that were said or done.  I would also tell him about my good days, my bad days and the days that were somewhere in between.  I wanted him to know I was surviving, finding a way to keep busy so I don't miss him as much, and that I am extremely proud of him and love him so very much!

My letters just let him know what was going on in my life.  But, I sent other things as well.  At Christmas myself and a group of others whose men were in the same flight as Zac got a list together and we sent Christmas cards/letters to all the Airmen that we had names for.  I sent a birthday card to the guys in Zac's flight that I knew would have a Birthday while they were in basic.  I sent a page filled with pictures of my latest cake projects just so he could show them off to his buddies.  I printed pictures of me, or us, in some letters so he could see my smile again. I sent pages of funny jokes one time, and another a page full of encouraging quotes and verses the week before he had a field exercise.  Our nephew and I even sat down and colored pictures for Uncle Zac over Christmas.  One of my favorites is the two or three times our dog Misty wrote him letters.  I would add a Bible Verse at the end of each letter so that he could have an encouraging verse each time he read a letter.  I wanted him to know that I supported him, prayed for him, wanted him to laugh and to encourage him!

I also eagerly anticipated a letter from him in my mailbox.  I would check my mail daily hoping for a glimpse of his handwriting on the small blue envelopes I had come to expect from him.  After he was actually able to write and started sending me letters every week I would check my mail, sometimes more than once, near the end of the week hoping that he was able to send me even a short note.  I even remember checking the mail 3 times one day because I knew it was about that time of week where the mailman would deliver a letter from my hubby!  I cherished every word in those letters, sometimes read them 20 times and about memorized some of them.

We would also get short phone calls almost once a week.  I remember making sure my phone was always charged and the volume turned way up so that I would hear it ring if he got the chance to call me for a few minutes.  I would spend my Saturday nights staring at my phone hoping that he would be able to call again like his did last week.  Over Christmas and New Year's I was blessed with the opportunity to talk to him for about an hour.  Seeing as we had only had maybe 15 minutes to call the whole time he had been in Basic this was a HUGE blessing.

Now that he is out of Basic Training we are able to text, talk, Skype  e-mail and still write each other.  There have only been a couple of days in the last 4 months that we haven't talked for at least 10 minutes or more at night.  A lot of times we will talk for an hour or more on the phone or Skype at night, usually about nothing much just going over how fun, or boring, our day was.  We are even able to send packages to each other with little things that we know will make the other person smile!

I am really thankful that I am able to keep in contact with my husband easier now.  I know there are many families who still don't get the chance to talk to their loved ones on a regular basis.  I have learned to cherish every letter, every text, every e-mail and every minute we can call or Skype each other.  This is my lifeline to him and without it my days would be much harder and my nights much longer.

Thank you Lord for Modern Technology and the privilege to communicate daily with my husband!!

Saturday, May 4, 2013

School Again

Even though Zac is done with basic, he has to go through almost 7 months of training before he is done.

The good thing about him being in School rather than Basic is the simple fact that now we can talk on the phone every evening.

The first week we would be on the phone, or Skype  for almost an hour each time.  It is a huge relief to be able to talk to him everyday, even if it's just a short text, instead of having only 15 minutes each week, if even that much.

Also, I've been able to visit him once so far and will be visiting again before he is done.

I was thinking the other day, so far Zac has been gone 5 months.  In that time I've only seen him for one week (7 days), it wasn't consecutive day, and even then we weren't able to spend the whole time together.

At times I have felt so overwhelmed with simply being the only one at home, taking care of bills, taking care of a dog that was sick for a week, handling small issues with the car and the simple fact that he wasn't here to  just give me a hug after a bad day.

I know that he will be home before I know it.  I know that God will help me get through anything and everything that comes my way.  I know that I have friends and family there for me.  But, sometimes, a girl just needs to be allowed to have a bad day.

What do I do on those down days?  Usually, Curl up in the living room with a good book or movie and have pizza and soda! (Not very good considering I want to lose weight, but hey, it works).

I do have my good days too.  Those days when he and I get to video chat for 2 hours and be stupid, the days when I get a package from him, or a small handmade card, or when he just tells me how well things are going for him.

I am definitely adjusting to this life.  It has taken time, patience and a lot of prayer but I am surviving.  I think we both will fit in well to the military life before long and I can't wait to see where this road leads us!