My mother has taught me many lessons over the years. As a young child she taught me that she loved me unconditionally, that she cared for me whether I was sick or in perfect health, that she would provide for me regardless of what we actually had. I know that there were times where I was not easy to love, and I'm sure that caring for a child who is sick is not easy, and yet she persisted.
As I grew older her lessons changed. She still taught me that she would love, care, and provide for me, but there were other lessons as well. She taught me responsibility, how to be a true friend, and how to take care of the things that I had. Granted, I didn't always want to clean my room or be nice to people (especially my siblings), but my mother ensured that I knew how to do these things and why they were important.
Throughout the years the lessons evolved and were added to. My mother taught me not only that she would always love me but that God loves me unconditionally as well and I need to share that love with others. She showed me that not only will she always care for me but that God does too and that I should care for others in the same way. I learned from her that she will always provide for me, regardless of how little we have, and that God will do the same for me. As she taught me responsibility I learned that everything I had was to be taken care of, and that I was to be thankful for what God had provided for our family. The only reason I have true friends is because my mother taught me how to treat those I care about, how to be a true friend as Christ is to me.
I have learned a lot from my mother over the years and yet she still continues to teach me, as she always has.
When I met the man that I ended up marrying I learned that my mom had been teaching me more about life than I realized. She was my example of what a wife should really be. She cared for my father unconditionally. It was always obvious that she loved him, regardless of whether or not they were disagreeing at the time. My mother stood by my father through good times and bad, in sickness and in health. She loved him, honored him, and cherished him and I got to see it every day.
I never realized what a commitment it was to be married, however I knew how it was supposed to look simply from watching my parents and learning from their godly example. No, they are not perfect. However, they love each other with a love that only God can give and they will always stand by each other's side.
The lessons my mother has taught me have made me who I am today! Without the example from my mother I wouldn't know how to stand by my husband in the bad times. I wouldn't know how to care for him when he is sick and I would be much more likely to give up on my marriage when we disagree. The lessons that my mother has spent a lifetime teaching me are the reason that I am the woman that I am today.
I love my mother, more than I can describe, and I am so thankful for everything that she has, and is still, teaching me.
I love you Mommy!
As I grew older and got married I started to look forward to the time when I would become a mother and have the chance to teach a little one the same lessons that my mother has taught me. I looked forward to the day when I would hold a child in my arms and hear them call me "Mommy". I looked forward to showing a new little child how amazing the world was. However, that dream has yet to become a reality.
My husband is in the Military. This means that he is gone for long stretches of time, and has been for the last 3 years. It is a life that I agreed to, and accept. However, this has not made it easy for us to have children.
I have spent a long time longing to have a child of my own. It is a desire that I have had since the day that I married my wonderful husband. I never imagined that that dream would come with the challenges, and heartbreak, that it has.
This is why Mother's Day is a bittersweet affair for me.
I love my mother, I always have and I always will, but, I also long to be a mother myself. There are days that I watch my husband as he plays with a young child and I can easily see how wonderful a Father he will make some day. I watch new mothers with their babies and long for one of my own to care for, snuggle with, sing to, and teach just as my mother teaches me.
Not long ago I thought that my dream had come true, that I finally had the chance to make a difference in the life of a child, my child. But it was not meant to be.
So now here we are, two days before Mother's Day, and my heart aches. I long for the child that I will never have the chance to hold in my arms, that I will never get to hear call me "Mommy", that I will never get to watch play with my husband. I miss a child that I never even had the chance to know!
Mother's Day is going to be quite a challenge for me this year. In fact, I told my husband that I don't even want to go to church on Sunday. Why? You ask. The reason is simple. The day is set aside to honor Mother's, something that I totally agree with. However, watching as Mothers are honored is going to be heartbreaking. It makes me question what makes a mother. Is a mother simply someone who has given birth to a child? Adopted a child? Do people even realize that there are a lot of women out there who are mothers but simply never had the chance to hold their child in their arms? Do people even consider those women mothers?
My heart is in pieces that won't ever go back together the same way again and Mother's Day simply shines a light on all the cracks in my heart. Something that I am not ready for at this point in time.
So on Sunday, as we all honor Mothers, I ask you to remember those who never had the chance to know their child. There are more Mother's in the world that never had the indescribable pleasure of holding their newborn in their arms and their hearts could very well be breaking all over again. Keep these mothers in your prayers as we all spend the day Celebrating our own Mothers.
I love you Mom! Thank you for everything you have done for me!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment